Not My Message to Muddle

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2023     by Lori Roeleveld     27 Comments

Where are you hurting in relation to your faith ?

I’ve been quiet lately, not just here but in real time. Feeling every pain point of my own faith journey. Too ready to hurl words at the sources of my strife and trying to determine which rant to post until it’s no longer a rant but a book or series or an encyclopedia of ravings so expansive, I realize I’m off course.

When I feel I have too much to say, it’s usually wise to stay quiet and sort through it with God.

Still sorting.

By that I mean, I’ve done a lot of sitting in the rocker on my porch listening to the wind in the trees, letting my body and mind soak in the calm God provides through His creation.

There’s a tree on my front yard, a catalpa, that was struck by lightning in its youth. It bears the long, thick, ugly scar but it survived. I feel a kinship.

 

Now, its lush branches provide me with shelter and shade. Cardinals, woodpeckers, hummingbirds, robins, sparrows, an occasional goldfinch, two magnificent red-shouldered hawks, and a titmouse find food, shelter, perches, and nesting material in its branches. I learn from the perseverance story God tells through this survivor.

 

It abides. And God reminds me to abide with Him.

This tree is a settling place for my soul. A gift from my loving Father. My spirit is quieted so I can hear Him above the din of my frustrations.

Then, I open His Word. I read and listen. Offer prayers of thanks for salvation in Jesus, the gift of the Holy Spirit, the wonder of His Word in my own language. And I remember His love, I recount what I know of His nature. I apply all this to my pain, absorbing God’s presence like a balm.

I listen to others. To proven and tested teachers of His Word. To the voices of the hurting, to those who disagree or disbelieve, to those close to me. I listen and still, I don’t speak. I wait.

Where are you hurting in relation to your faith? 

Are you frustrated with the busy-ness you allow to keep you from praying, studying, worshipping with others, or serving?

Are you secretly harboring questions and doubts silently driving your drift incrementally further from Him?

Is your pain the unbelief of aging parents, the pushback from prodigals you raised to know the truth, the resistance of a spouse to maturing in faith, or the disappointment of another leader fallen from grace?

Is your pain the loss of your first love for Christ? the joy of your salvation?

Or, do you suffer from disorientation and distraction in a society you once knew now so foreign to foundational truths of your faith? Do you agonize over the deterioration of public conversation around the name of Jesus and all related things?

Have you become the target of someone’s misdirected hatred for the faith because of the church you attend, the truth you promote, the name by which you identify, the news you watch, or your lack of support for their sinful choices?

Do you lament the lack of love and humility from those who speak in Jesus’ name?

Feel free to check “all of the above” and know I will resonate with your pain.

Where do you hurt in relation to your faith and where are you seeking remedy? I really want to know.

For me, it’s the division.

As friends deconstruct or self-destruct or drift or dabble in wandering from truth, I feel the grief of loss. I agree with the mess we’ve made of things. I disagree with their solution.

Weighed down knowing I could create my own unity with compromise or a willingness to accept their judgements without question or a silence just to get along, but at the end of the day, it’s not my message to muddle.

If mine were a faith created by human hands, adjustments might be made, updates required, alterations, accommodations, and edits to appease. But, God is the One who created both the message, me, and those who reject all. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He is the Way, the Truth, the Life. He is the great Shepherd and me, I’m just a sheep resting here beside the still waters.

So, I must lay down the idol of “unity at all costs” knowing that unity in Christ is something other than that wooden lifeless carving that can provide neither guidance, nor light, nor peace. I cannot declare peace when there is none.

God is not like me.

He is not afraid to separate. At the very start of creation, He began to name and to discern. He spoke light into being in Genesis 1:3 and by verse 4, He distinguished light from darkness. “And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.”

God is not afraid to divide. Jesus talked much about the unity of believers but He also warned them, ““Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Matthew 10:34

The God who created multiplication also invented division. Hebrews 4:12-13, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

There is purpose in the pain.

In John 6, following the feeding of the 5000 when great crowds were gathering to hear Him, Jesus made statements that inspired many, many disciples to walk away. (John 6:66). Jesus watched them go. The weight of all those souls, weight He would bear, but He didn’t chase them down or alter His Word.

I feel the pain of division when others cannot abide relationship with me any longer or with Christ. I love them and love them still, but I wouldn’t send my son to die for them. That’s the love Jesus has for those who walk away. I couldn’t bear it.

I seek peace. I offer love. I want to remain in relationship even with those who disagree, who question, who argue, or who doubt. I want to keep the lines open even when what comes at me through those lines is name-calling, hatred, or disdain. Still, I would hold on for the sake of the gospel and for love.

But, they’ve declared me part of the problem. They’ve labeled me, boxed me, and now, they’ve shelved me along with other items from the past they no longer find useful as their lives progress, as their faith evolves, as they lose their religion and throw babies out with the baptism water.

It’s not my message to muddle.

So, lean on Christ who knows this pain more intimately than I do, and He will bear it.

I find comfort in Christ through His Word, through the Holy Spirit, through His Creation, and through His people.

Where are you hurting in relation to your faith? Where do you find remedy for your pain? How can I help? I really want to know.


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27 Comments

    The Conversation

  1. Tammy says:
    August 22, 2023 at 10:08 pm

    My experience of division is within the church itself.

    Our little church was facing closure 6 1/2 years ago. They prayed for God to save it. He answered their prayers with a young man fresh out of seminary with his family.

    God sent me & my family, and friends and their families. But our original band of hobbits proceeded to fight any change the new pastor wanted to do to grow the church, overtly and covertly.

    When it was discovered that the church was running low on funds and couldn’t afford the new pastor much longer, he left.

    The church only has a few months to stay open. The hobbits are still in denial. It’s just so sad.

    Reply
  2. DiAnn Mills says:
    August 23, 2023 at 6:03 pm

    Lori, a beautifully written article that spoke to my heart and so many others.

    Reply
  3. Marilyn harapnuik says:
    August 23, 2023 at 6:16 pm

    Thanks, Lori. Your words always nail it. Thanks for speaking God’s truth in spite of the blowback. I have a prodigal, fallen leader, a son betrayed by his new bride, friends deconstructing to the benefit of darkness rather than light and no words for any of them. I find comfort in knowing God knows and their days are written before creation; He sees every thought and action; He is with them in their darkness.

    Reply
  4. Laura says:
    August 23, 2023 at 6:31 pm

    I feel your pain, Lori. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. You’ve stated it well. I’ve experienced a few of the specifics you mention, but currently, there are no big things bringing me down (which I haven’t felt in a while.) I think part of it is spiritual warfare – possibly because I’m leading a positive ministry endeavor currently – and I think the evil one wants to discourage me. Maybe that’s a piece of your situation, too? I appreciate your insights into God allowing separation, and dividing light from darkness. I need to not neglect my time in His word!

    Reply
    • Lori Roeleveld says:
      August 24, 2023 at 6:53 am

      It’s interesting to follow the thread of times when those following God experienced separation from others. Painful losses but the consolation of God’s presence. Still, great sadness.

      Reply
  5. Maxine D says:
    August 24, 2023 at 12:22 am

    I have been at the heart of more than one “church split”, but through them all, have managed to ‘keep peace’ with many involved, no matter which route they took – it has made me nature beyond what anything else could.
    I have learnt to forgive, when forgiveness has been an act of obedience, not of choice. I have also learnt to keep my eyes on Jesus and look to Him alone for peace and (still learning) companionship.
    Blessings
    Maxine

    Reply
  6. Marie says:
    August 24, 2023 at 6:32 am

    LORI, I can’t count the times ewe have given words to my groaning. My thoughts & journey the last few months are echoed in what ewe have shared here so well. Walking through the book of Daniel with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s HEAVEN RULES has been my source of recalibrating & finding the focus I have needed. Standing firm in the Truth & seeing afresh the example of Daniel being courage, steady & faithful in far more severe situations – even despairing on occasion, but rising before the Man clothed in linen to press on thru the opposition far greater than we know — That’s where I am finding recalculation & renewed focus. Highly recommend HEAVEN RULES. And thanking God for your faithfulness. As ewe sit there healing & seeking, may ewe be comforted in the embrace of His shalom & strength as Daniel was . . . Peace to you; be very strong – DAN 10:17-19.

    Reply
  7. Mark says:
    August 24, 2023 at 9:07 am

    Yep, Lori, “ALL of the above.” I’m in much psychic pain these days too for all the reasons that you’ve described and maybe a few more as well, but I don’t want to think it through enough to see if I can add to your beautiful post. I wish I could just sit in that rocker on your porch and ponder that brave tree who got struck by lightning but still willed to live with the huge ugly scar to provide sustenance and grace for all those around just like our Savior who will bear his ugly scars forever . . . and will provide us all who live close to Him with sustenance and grace forever too.

    Reply
  8. Joanne Urbany says:
    August 24, 2023 at 1:20 pm

    Thank you for this, Lori. This month marks the one year anniversary that my oldest son, a prodigal, stopped speaking to me. He became very angry at a reference I made to God being in control of my life. I set a boundary with himn for the first time in response to his disrespect and he has chosen to cut me out of his life. It has been very painful. I have reached out to him many times over the past year but he has not chosen to respond. At this point, I just continue to pray for him and continuously turn him over to the Lord. The Lord sees my heart and my pain and in that I derive my peace and comfort.

    Reply
  9. Maureen Miller says:
    August 25, 2023 at 9:33 am

    Thank you for these words, spoken from your heart—from your experience.
    This is my anchor:
    “… I remember His love, I recount what I know of His nature. I apply all this to my pain, absorbing God’s presence like a balm.”
    Yes!
    Where am I hurting?
    My heart hurts for adult kids who aren’t experiencing the deep, deep love of Jesus. Rather, they too often look to the world to meet their needs, bring fulfillment.
    Sometimes their struggles seem too big and I lose heart. But then I remember the above, and peace that passes all understanding and circumstance settles.
    Again, thank you.

    Reply
  10. Kim Teague says:
    August 26, 2023 at 7:47 am

    Thank you for these words, Lori. I heard Beth Moore say at a conference years ago that we must choose to walk in the tension between love and truth, loving others but holding fast to the truth of His word. You expound on this in such a beautiful way. I love the Scriptures you shared. Thank you for this very heart-provoking message.

    Reply
  11. Nancy J Smith says:
    August 26, 2023 at 2:52 pm

    Very true and wise words Lori. We cannot fix everyone else’s mess. We must yield our own mess to The Father and stand for truth hoping others will see His light.

    Reply
  12. Joann says:
    August 27, 2023 at 10:34 pm

    I’ve been reading a lot lately about how messed up our message about Christ has been explained to the world and how this has placed the unsaved in a precarious position. Have we shown them the great price that Jesus paid on the cross to redeem us, and introduced them to the law of God and the 10 commandments? Or have we skipped right to the good stuff that Jesus saves and loves us no matter what? John brought all to repentance that was his message. He never said just receive Jesus and be saved. For many years we have been so eager to gain converts that we have missed the crucial message of repent, forsake your sins and God will save you. Now we are reaping the effects of our costly blunders. Many in the church don’t even realize they are not saved, therefore the constant struggles.

    Reply
  13. Karen says:
    September 2, 2023 at 8:11 am

    Thank you Lori for your post. I can check most of the boxes you spoke of, sadly. I am still rebounding from the trauma of these trials. My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth. I too, have a tree that almost didn’t make it, but now thrives. Thank you for a fresh look at that, it will be a great lesson for my children when they are experiencing pain.

    Reply