When You’re Thinking You’re a Loser for Jesus and Feel like an April Fool

Sometimes you think you’re getting somewhere, you know, with this whole growing up in Jesus business.

You’re hitting your Bible regularly and going deep, not just the quick pass over a verse and a thought but digging in and rocking it. Your prayer life is consistent and gets more involved than “Help!” and “Please!” (Not that those words don’t feature frequently.)

They know your face at church and well, you get the point. You’re no soul slouch.

Then, whammo! You hit what is apparently a giant spiritual pothole of what was that?

Instead of choruses of praise songs, your mind floods with whispers from the dark side. Who do you think you’re fooling? You’re a loser for Jesus. A con for Christ. A fool of the highest order.

Oh, you’re able to pull it together for flashes of time and convince a few people you’re a godly person, but one hiccup and you’re wallowing in really common sinful goop –the sinkhole of self-pity, the jaws of jealousy, or the axis of anger.

No matter how many alliterations you throw at it, though, it ain’t pretty. Other people figure out how to pull it together for Jesus, you know, so what’s wrong with you? After all this time, are you still expecting Jesus to pick up the tab for the gaping holes in your soul? He had such high hopes for you but now, now you’re just a disappointment to Him, well, to everyone, really.

The voices nearly convince you. It feels as though life is an algebra test and you missed the class on variables so you sit back, stunned, baffled, mystified by the entire equation.

But, this is when the regular Bible reading and prayer, the steady diet of truth and strong theology (yeah, that stuff is part of your arsenal, because sometimes you need a tank against the enemy) turn out to come in handy. God’s voice is so much better to listen to than the taunts of the darkness.

Verses and passages flood in like redeemed flying monkeys serving a new Master because, you know, that water took care of the Wicked Witch and Living Water is what will dissolve this assault on you, too. Jesus steps in and reminds you He’s the Master of a new math.

Yes, you still slip in it, sometimes you even belly flop down a slip-and-slide of the old sin nature. You’re growing in Christ but you’re not home yet, baby. As long as you reside on this outpost of glory, you’re going to step on landmines that detonate unsanctified sectors of your cleansed soul, but you’re no loser, and if you’re a fool, you’re God’s fool, and that redefines you right there.

You’re eternal, loved one. There’s time to become His idea of you. You live in the light (all the better to see the pitfalls with, my dear). You fall back into the arms of grace because this is your home, your hope, your whole plan for salvation.

Just Jesus, Jesus, Jesus all the time. It’s never you making payments on the bill your soul rang up. You were completely bankrupted by sin but He covered every dime. Now, all you owe is love and even that, He’s supplied.

So now you’re pulling out of the soul skid, brushing off your knees and soaking in the healing truth “that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” (Philippians 1:6) and “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2

And you unsheathe your sword so you can dwell in Romans 8, the whole chapter, gulping it down like the coldest water on the hottest day until the light surrounding you, shielding you, has fended off the dark assault.

Whew. That was close. But, He’s done it. Reached down and pulled you out of that spin. Wrapped you in His light like the shield force around the Starship Enterprise only better because it’s not science fiction; it’s the truth that protects your soul.

You’re no loser for Jesus. You’re lost in Him, but that’s how you found the way.

And what looks foolish to a world steeped in deception is actually rock hard ancient wisdom.  Wisdom buried so deep beneath the boots of our culture it seems like fools’ gold, but it’s genuine and true and you hold it in your restored heart.

Yeah, you blow it. You get it wrong. You fall. But even when you’re on the mat, you’re a child of the High King, a redeemed soul, an eternal spirit, one who is Loved by the Almighty God destined for glory, forgiven, saved by grace. He’s got you.

The whisperer doesn’t scare Him. One little word will fell him. Boom. Jesus.

You hear that? That’s right. That’s the silence that follows the boom. Rest in that. Rest in Him. He’s got you.

When You’re Thinking You’re a Loser for Jesus and feel like an #AprilFools https://t.co/WVC1YLNZAP #foolforJesus #spiritualstruggle #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) April 1, 2017