We’re Going to Need a Bigger Millstone (Sexual Abuse and the Church)

It’s not hard or bold or courageous to condemn sexual abuse in the church.

Once pedophilia, pornography, rape or unwanted sexual advances by men and women purporting to be Christians make the headlines, condemning their actions is necessary, but it costs nothing. It’s a stone tossed onto a pile of rubble burying the perpetrators, but beneath their bones lie the hearts and souls of their victims, too.

Harder, costlier, braver is the face-to-face sit-down at the first whisper of concern. Addressing people, we considered closer than brothers or sisters, when the problem is just a sour feeling in our guts.

Asking more questions that time we walk into an office and get the feeling we interrupted something that shouldn’t be happening.

Pursuing an exit interview with the third secretary who quits with a fumbled explanation as to why.

Making persistent efforts to re-engage the boy who suddenly lost interest in youth group after the camping trip.

Insisting on accountability software with the staff member who swears he clicked on those sites only during a particularly stressful week.

Inviting our young church friend out to coffee when we notice bruises on her arm that look like finger marks.

Looking a respected, admired, unquestionably biblical leader in the eyes and insisting that we do need to discuss this accusation with the leadership team, even if he tells us it’s a tactic of the enemy to distract us from our work. – Sometimes, this is the work.

We are not home yet. When we step into glory, all this will be behind us, forever. But here is not home.

Even with a purge of the priesthood. Even with the #Metoo movement in the church. Even with education, workshops, and safeguard, evil exists and persists. When we discover it on one front, it sneaks around from another. Its only agenda is to deceive, rob, and destroy as much of God’s creation as possible before He returns and we’re directly in its path.

While the church of Jesus Christ is a sanctuary, it is inhabited by faulted believers of varying stages of maturity and repentance. There are wolves disguised as sheep. There are plain old posers. So, we have to grow up.

Forgiveness for repentance, yes, of course. But repentance isn’t an easy mea culpa. It’s sorrow. Acknowledgement of wrong-doing. Acceptance of responsibility. Submission to discipline, repentance, and correction. A willingness to make meaningful amends no matter the cost. Compassion for and priority to the victim. The long, hard road of earning back trust and respect.

This isn’t legalism – it’s a realistic and practical appreciation for the insidious nature of evil, the impossible cost of victimizing the most vulnerable in the name of Jesus, and the path of love for both the perpetrators, their victims, and those who would be victims if we don’t act.

There’s no program for this, loved ones. We are the program Jesus put in place. The church. You and me. Falling to our knees and asking for courage, wisdom, compassion, and spiritual muscle to take the hard way through conversations that make everyone uncomfortable. Our willingness to be questioned even if we’re innocent, if it prevents even one child, one vulnerable man or women, one new believer from being harmed in Jesus’ name.

Child abuse. Rape. Pornography. Sexual harassment. Spousal abuse. Perpetrated by people who call themselves Christians. There’s no excuse. No place for this behavior among His people.

But, these acts don’t suddenly emerge at their discovery. They happen choice by choice by choice over time. Little children are groomed. Women are lured. Computer use increases. Spouses are controlled and isolated before the first punch or slap.

Pay attention. Be involved with the family in the next pew. Listen well. Pray for insight. Speak up. Walk with courage. Find words.

These are hard things, but we are the church – we do hard things.

Once it hits the headlines, Satan whispers to us that it’s such a big problem, there’s nothing we can do. Satan lies.

Our job isn’t to defeat evil. Jesus did that already on the cross. Our job is to walk in the freedom His sacrifice purchased for us. We are free to combat evil on every front – even when it comes from within our own church doors.

We’re going to need a bigger millstone (sexual abuse and the church) https://t.co/AoMkBf42DX #Jesus #amwriting #Iamthechurch

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) August 20, 2018