I Am Developmentally Reluctant (or Adventures in Immaturity in Christ)

Everyone knows that it’s perfectly acceptable for children to be childish. What’s concerning as a parent is when your young adult is still acting like a child.

Immaturity is relative. It’s quite normal to have to carry around an infant but if your seven-year-old can’t walk on his own, you take corrective action.

I often feel that I am one of God’s developmentally reluctant children. I’ve been with Him since I was around four, so I’ve been on His grow-life plan (superior to Gerber) for over forty-five years. You’d think I’d be amazing but I still need remedial attention in many areas.

This past week, my husband and I drove (Okay, well, he drove and I clutched the dashboard) for almost one thousand miles to attend a Christian writer’s conference in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. Seriously, we were in faith country. If I’d been really still I’m sure I could have heard Billy Graham gargle.

We had a wonderful drive through Virginia but we were pretty tired by the end of the trip and desperate to be off the road and at the conference center when the car decided it, too, felt the unstoppable desire to be done! Five miles from our exit on a very active highway on the steep crest of a mountain slope we were dead in the water.

And what remarkable prayer of faith did this daughter of the Lord for forty-five years manage to pray? Don’t quote me but as I recall it went something like “Seriously, Lord, five miles from the exit? This isn’t even funny. I’m in the mood for a shower and dinner NOT for another life lesson.” Gracious, right?

In that same moment, I remembered what He and I have been working on lately – my ability to be with Him in the moment and to remain calm and trusting no matter where that moment takes us. Fantastic, I thought, I’ve blown this pop quiz. That means I haven’t seen the last of this remedial lesson plan!

See, there are therapies for a child with developmental delays – the approach differs according to the personality of the child, his or age and the area of delay. For example, a child who cannot speak clearly usually needs gradual therapy.  Developmental reluctance needs another approach.  For example, a thirty year old who won’t get a job may just need a slap in the head and a tough love plan that includes changing the locks. I suspect I’ve reached the tough love stage with God when it comes to trust in the moment.

After an hour on this mountain side, God sent an angel of a AAA man who was kind enough to drive me to our conference center (I’m sure he took one look at me and felt the drop off would be in his best interest, too). He then drove my husband to purchase what we needed to repair the leak in the transmission fluid, helped him to be sure the car was drivable and got him back to Ridgecrest where I had been having a long chat with God. Apologizing (me). Forgiving (him). And assuring (Him that He wouldn’t give up His work in me.)

It turns out to have been the perfect place for the car to break down and my husband and I were both encouraged by the kindness of the AAA stranger. (and, of course, I have another story).

God’s desire for all His children is that they grow up – not faster than is developmentally proper but He’s not happy when His older children are still acting like spiritual infants. As the mother of a young adult and an older teen, I really get that.

The writer of Hebrews speaks for God when he says “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrew 5:12-14 NIV

I am developmentally reluctant in some areas but I’m willing to submit to the plan of corrective action. I’d love it if you’d pray for me to get this right during the next quiz.  How about you?