God Bless the Wrestlers!

There’s an odd story in Genesis 32 about a night when Jacob camped out alone and wrestled with God.

I love this story but I can’t say I understand it. There’s an air of mystery surrounding the exchange but it’s an important window into the heart of God.

The late night wrestling match was a turning point in Jacob’s life. God gave him a new name when it was done: Israel, meaning “he struggles with God”.

There is no sense of condemnation from God about this struggling. In fact, Jacob receives a blessing when it is done.

I understand this more now that I’ve studied martial arts. Our karate school is led by a man who has earned the title “Kyoshi”, a term of respect for an instructor of great skill. Kyoshi has studied and practiced the martial arts for almost thirty years. He is accomplished beyond all of his students.

And yet, some nights he will come out to the dojo floor, slip on minimal sparring gear and invite all comers to take him on. And the students line up with anticipation, especially the teen and young adult men and women. Knowing they will not win. Knowing that while one may last longer than another, none of them will prevail against him. Still, they gear up and get in line for a few moments to test their skills against the master.

It’s not about winning. It’s about the love of karate. It’s about the joy of sparring. It’s about deepening the relationship between instructor and student. It’s about maturing and testing that maturity against the measuring rod.

Likewise, God wants us to engage Him. This isn’t about rebellion; it’s about the working out of our faith. It’s about approaching the meaty issues of life, the questions, the inconsistencies, the disappointments, injustices and mysteries and taking Him to the mat for answers. He’s a big God and when we have big issues, He’s the one with whom to work them out. Not as a challenge to His authority but as an acknowledgement that He is the only One from whom we want our answers.

When I was a young woman, I took a job far from home. I was alone, lonely and full of questions about the direction of my life. I decided to spend some dedicated time with God. Every night for six weeks, I met with God alone. I wrote out my questions, I wrote out my worries and fears, I wrote out the pain of my past and then I set it all aside.

“God, I’d like answers to all of that so if you want to address any of it, great.” I prayed. “But what I really want is for you to show up here with me and teach me about who you are and about what you and I are about.”

And He did show up.

Night after night, I spent hours reading Bible passages that led to other Bible passages. I prayed. I wrote. I listened. I looked at the stars and read more Bible passages. I cried and listened some more. But God was there and He confirmed His presence by this:

As part of my job, I brought children from a group home to attend church, a different church every Sunday. For the six weeks of my dedicated time with God, there were certain themes that came up in my time with Him. A different theme every week. And for six weeks, in six different churches, with six different pastors, the sermon addressed the theme that I had studied in private.

During the last week, I thought I ‘d lost the connection with God. Every passage to which I felt led was a genealogy. I even sensed God calling me by a different name. Weird.

Well, that’s it. I thought. It couldn’t last forever. I’ve lost it, like a channel on the radio; I must be out of range. (Oh, me of little faith!)

That Sunday, when I entered the church of the week and saw the reference for the sermon, I laughed out loud. It was a lengthy Biblical genealogy! The title of the sermon “The Importance of Your Name to God.”

Those six weeks changed my life.

God didn’t address all of my questions. I didn’t gain the knowledge of the universe or the secret of life, although I did settle where I stand on certain debatable issues. I didn’t come away with a life plan or a vision for a new ministry or the cure for poverty. But I grew up in Christ. I came away knowing Him on a deeper level, trusting Him more, reveling in Him. I came away with a better idea of His idea of me.

Sometimes life is simple but often it isn’t. Sometimes life is the multiplication table but often it’s long division. Wrestling with God by searching the scriptures, asking questions, listening, honestly facing your concerns, openly expressing your fears, and trusting Him to show up with you is often the only path to breakthrough.

Jacob prevailed and was blessed.

So, God bless those who struggle with Him. God bless the great wrestlers of the faith. God bless those who come away from everything and everyone else to engage Him in a discussion of the matters that are closest to their hearts.

Do you need to wrestle with God? Make the time. He’s all geared up and ready to go.