Will My Life Matter When I’m Gone

Will my life matter when I’m gone?

Did the Apostle John ask questions like this in exile on the island of Patmos?

This was a man who had walked with Jesus. Leaned back against the Son of God at the Last Supper. Cared for the Messiah’s mother. Watched as Jesus ascended. Received the Holy Spirit.

He preached, healed the sick, was arrested, beaten, lost his brother to martyrdom and eventually lost his brothers in Christ to martyrdom, as well.

Then, sent into exile on an island designed for punishment and hard labor, did he feel sidelined from the true work of the kingdom? Left behind?

But Jesus was not done with John. We can never be exiled from the love of Christ, nor from His voice, or His Word, or His presence. We know this because of John on Patmos.

“I, John, your brother and partner in tribulation and the kingdom and the patient endurance that are in Jesus, was on the island called Patmos on account of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet saying, ‘Write what you see in a book and send it to the seven churches . . .” Revelation 1:9-11 esv

Will my life matter?

John was a fisherman. The son of Zebedee. Brother to James. Friends with Andrew and Simon (who would be called Peter). A man of the sea, of backbreaking work, subject to times and tides and the vagaries of fish.

He was supposed to find a wife. Raise sons. Attend synagogue. Care for his aging parents and die like every other man.

Instead, Jesus came preaching about repentance and the kingdom of God. John left all he knew to follow Him. And for a long time, it must have been hard but engaging, exciting, exhilerating. But there was also sorrow as he lost James and then others to martyrdom.

Then came the quiet of Patmos and three decades or more past the death and resurrection of Jesus.

In the quiet of his humble lodgings on this island far from the action, did he look back?

Did he chuckle as he recalled Jesus’s nickname for him and James, Boanerges, Sons of Thunder?

Did he shake his head remembering the time he and his brother offered to call down fire on a Samaritan village?

Did he wonder anew as he remembered the Transfiguration as He saw Jesus in His glory speaking with Elijah and Moses on the mountain?

My favorite story about John and James would likely make him cringe in remembrance but it gives me hope, chronic sinner that I am relying wholly on the grace of Jesus.

Matthew tells us it was Zebedee’s wife, the mother of the brothers who made the request while Mark reports it was the brothers themselves. Easy enough to imagine their mother urging them on from behind when they had the audacity to ask Jesus if each of them might sit beside Him when He came into His kingdom, one to the right, one to the left. I find it hilarious that the gospel notes the indignation of the other ten. No kidding.

And while Jesus set the boys to right and we all roll our eyes at their arrogance, I find myself daily tempted to think myself a better follower than other Christians I encounter on line or in the news or on social media. This battle with self-righteous superiority is ongoing but one cure is actually interacting with other Christians in person. Face-to-face, humility is no issue as I watch them serve with grace through a myriad of trials or work hard at tasks I could never take on myself or wrestle the same Scriptures I do with integrity.

My pride stands no chance as daily I read one story or another about Christians facing persecution in countries hostile to our faith. Their sacrifices are beyond what I can imagine and my admiration for them grows by the hour.

On Patmos, John would have lost enough and seen enough that perhaps battles with pride and self-righteousness were in his rearview mirror, but did he wonder, will my life matter?

Then Jesus gave Him the gift of Revelation. A glimpse into the kingdom come in all its glory. The Lamb who is worthy. God on His throne. 24 thrones around and all the saints casting their crowns before Him.

And here, the disciple Jesus loved, the one who beat Peter to the tomb, now alone, far from the frontlines, feels beloved once more as he writes what the Spirit gives him to record.

What about you, my friend? 

Are you in exile? Have you suffered loss? Are you sidelined from the action? Pulled back from the frontlines? Is all the ministry and suffering, the sacrifice, the preaching, the healing behind you now?

Is your Patmos a hospital room? Retirement? Grief? Loss of health? What you think is a failed attempt at ministry, writing, family, or some other worthy goal?

Hold on. Jesus sees you as clearly as He saw His beloved disciple on that tiny rock in the great sea.

There is no exile nor any condition on this earth that can separate us from His great love. His eyes are on you. His arms surround you. His plan for you continues while you have breath. Your condition is no barrier to Him who called Lazarus from the tomb.

Are you remembering how weak you are? Your past failures? Your sins? Ask John. He followed imperfectly and yet, there was more waiting for Him even aged, even exiled, even alone, despite his embarrassments and failures.

Even then, he was the disciple Jesus loved. And so are you.

Will your life matter? It matters now. It matters to Jesus. It matters. 

Hold on. He comes.

 

Thoughts? I love to hear from you. I respond to every comment, reply to every email, and pray for you often. Let me know how you are.

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https://t.co/75qI2OSDiq Did the disciple John wonder on Patmos about the big questions? Do you wonder if your life will matter? #Bible #doesmylifematter

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) October 24, 2025