Never Enough! Until Jesus . . .

Abandon deficit thinking and live in the abundance that is ours in Christ.

That’s what I told a group of women gathered in an auditorium last weekend.

I described how, like Martha, too often we focus on all we’re not, all that’s not right, everything still needing to be done, and all the help we’re not getting. We forget all we have in Jesus.

Jesus redirected Martha to make the same choice her sister, Mary was making. Mary was focused on all she now had in Jesus. Martha took His direction. When Lazarus died, she ran out to meet Jesus. Her mind was not set on the brother she’d lost but on what she had in Jesus, the resurrection and the life.

Anyway, that’s what I told these women. It’s the truth and I fully believe it.

But then, alone in my hotel room, I let the enemy and my insecurities whisper to me about all the ways my talk hadn’t been enough, all the ways

I hadn’t measured up, and all that I was lacking as a speaker. 

Sigh.

Fortunately, this wasn’t my first rodeo. Just about the time the devil tried to convince me I was a hypocrite, I hit my knees and remembered how tired I was. Tired, drained, spent. Susceptible.

It wasn’t just this single event but several weeks of intensive speaking, coaching, writing, family celebrations, and one or two crises all bleeding into the oncoming holiday. I have a vacation planned but it’s Not. Quite. Here.

One more talk. Christmas preparations. Extra church services and family gatherings. Cleaning. Shopping.

Sigh.

I just need to get to that broom tree and take a long winter’s nap.

At least I’d been transparent in my talk about this being an ongoing struggle in my life. Jesus meets me in it but truly, I often wrestle with feeling as if I’m not enough. Not thin enough, pretty enough, talented enough, smart enough, frugal enough, generous enough, spiritual enough, hard-working enough, educated enough, rested enough . . . well, you get the picture. The tsunami usually crashes when I’m worn out.

I have this image in my mind of how I should be at this point of my life, having walked with Jesus for many, many (many) decades. It’s kind of a cross between Sister Julienne in Call the Midwife, Olivia Walton, and Billy Graham (minus the stadiums). 

Seriously, with all the Bible I’ve absorbed, all the miracles I’ve witnessed, and all the blessings I’ve received from Jesus, I should be floating through the flotsam and jetsam of my days with the grace of St. Patrick forgiving those who took him captive. Instead, I still more often resemble Peter–all bold proclamations followed by lungs full of water from beneath the waves.

Fortunately, I listened when I talked. Especially to the Scripture I read aloud. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The stories I shared during my talk were full of times I was weak but now I can see how God used my weakness to glorify Himself. The secret to those stories is they’re in the rearview mirror of my days.  I have learned the end of some of those stories but I’m still in the midst of this one, so, you know, I’m still grasping for my snorkel.

If I’m honest, I don’t like humility. I mean, I enjoy it others but I’m much more comfortable with overconfidence and a kind of snarky superiority in myself.

I’d enjoy humility more if it were a simple download but the pathway to a humble heart lies through weakness. Insults. Hardships. Persecutions. Calamities. Unpleasant stuff, that.

Just kidding. I’m down for becoming more like Jesus but when I look at all He went through for me, I know I can’t stick with that assignment without Him. Thank God for the Holy Spirit.

God is teaching me not to try to gasp my way from vacation to vacation but instead, to bring Him my weakness, my weariness, my snarky superiority, and my overconfidence. It’s amazing what He can do with what I have to offer Him.

And, I’m learning to set my mind on all that is mine in Jesus. There are so many Bible passages I read quickly but instead, I should linger.

Such as 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 ESV, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

I look forward to glory when the struggles of this life are a story whose ending I can tell but until then, I live by faith.

Face-to-face with my own weakness, frailty, and imperfection, I hold up the mirror of God’s Word to see the vision of who I am because of Jesus. And you, too. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation with a story that will continue into the light and life of eternity. Even if right now, you’re tired, too.

We perch on the advent of all we have to celebrate in Christ and our gratitude grows for the miracle of it all–the miracle of redemption and grace. May it continue to grow until we see Him, face-to-face!

What are your thoughts? I respond to every comment and reply to every email! I love to hear from you.

If you’d like a copy of my FREE Advent download Don’t Treat Jesus Like a Baby, just click and it will be available to you!

Did you know my newest book, releasing in late February, is available for pre-order! Graceful Influence: Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible will be a wonderful book to read with a friend (you’re going to WANT to discuss these women) or small group! I’d love to come and speak to the women in YOUR church!

Here’s an endorsement from the amazing Cindy Sproles:

“Graceful Influence – wow, oh wow. I’ve read other things by Roeleveld, but this is by far her best work. Taking us through scripture and stopping on specific women like Deborah and Queen Jezebel throws an entirely new light on godly women’s impact in their current worlds. Each chapter sheds a new and unique thought process that will draw you in as you read, force you to contemplate, and insist you reconsider how you’ve looked at these women. Roeleveld’s special insights will help you strive to grow in new ways. This book is absolutely a book for everyone’s nightstand. It will be one you read and reread again and again. I know I have.” ~Cindy K. Sproles, Best-selling and award-winning author of Meet Me Where I Am Lord, and This is Where It Ends.

Ever feel as if you’ll never be enough? https://t.co/Xr61eJ5yrF #advent #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) November 27, 2023