What Not to Wear

I always have the wrong clothes.

Do you know what I mean? Other people seem to dress with ease. They have the right apparel for summer at the first bud of a tree and they seamlessly slip into cardigans as the first orange leaf falls to the ground.

Their clothes match. They fit properly. These are people who must wear stain remover as body lotion and look like they splurged on the “dashboard steam press” option for their car. Don’t even get me started on their shoes.

I’m not an adventurous dresser and have no desire to call attention to myself but it’s probably unnatural for one’s closet to have only three color selections – navy blue, khaki and black – unless one has taken holy orders. It’s bad enough living fashion impaired but now my daughter has taken to watching this show on The Learning Channel called “What Not to Wear” so I have a whole new fear that my friends are secretly filming me from behind and planning an intervention complete with a 360 mirror.

Did you know that “What Not to Wear” was inspired by the Apostle Paul and originally aired in Colossae – an ancient commercial center on the Mediterranean Sea in what is now Turkey? Paul was way ahead of his time.

In the third chapter of his letter to the Colossians, Paul spells out “the rules” for the well-dressed Christian. Step one with Paul is the same one Stacey and Clinton have for their victims – I mean, volunteers. Get rid of the clothes that are not appropriate.

Paul says to rid ourselves of things like anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lies. Also, always out of season for believers are sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed and idolatry. These are some of Paul’s “fashion don’ts” for those who say they follow Christ. They can’t be recycled, redeemed or stuffed into the back of our closets. The only answer is to rid ourselves of them completely.

What IS in fashion for the Christ-follower every season? Paul says “as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other, and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Yes, that’s right, love is the new black.

I think it’s amusing that the producers of “What Not to Wear” also stole another idea from the Bible. They award their participants all the money they need to buy a new wardrobe.

Many of us wear what is out of fashion because it’s cheap and easy to acquire. Quality clothing is usually so high-priced as to be out of our reach. So it is with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love.

Oh, sometimes we find knock-offs. On our own, we manufacture cheap facsimiles or stumble onto copies that fall off a truck and that may fool some of the public some of the time but, well, you know.

The good news is that God is also willing to foot the bill for our new duds. He knew we would never afford proper attire on our own so He paid for it all for us. Through Him, we can afford Designer fashions for the soul.

Why so many of us insist on still wearing rags, I’ll never know.