Epic Rudeness and Where It Leads

In my household, I have declared myself “The Arbiter of Big Deals.”

No one else in my family is qualified to decide whether or not something is a “big deal.” This has come about because other members of my household overuse phrases such as “It’s not a big deal.” “Why are you making this into such a big deal?” and “Don’t make such a big deal!”

There’s nothing more exasperating than being told that something you care about has been determined by others to be “no big deal.” It’s dismissive, disrespectful, and rude. I’m curbing the use of these phrases in my home by responding: “I’m sorry but we’ve determined that you’re not qualified to decide whether or not something is a big deal. Being the only certified Arbiter of Big Deals in this household, I will make a ruling on this matter and my ruling will stand.”

One phrase in the Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, has always stuck out to me and until recently, I didn’t appreciate its importance. That phrase from verse 5 is, “Love is not rude.” Growing up, I struggled to imagine rudeness reaching a level worth mentioning in scripture. I no longer struggle to appreciate rudeness as unloving.

Repeatedly, the modern world responds to the Creator of All Things by rudely proclaiming what He cares about as “no big deal.”

God’s word holds out the value and worth of every single human life but the world responds, “Hey, human life is no big deal.” This week, we’ve seen terrorists release a slickly produced video of their heinous execution of a young man my son’s age – caged and burned alive. Another young aid worker, a girl, also my son’s age, has been declared dead, killed perhaps as a “PR stunt,” simply a pawn in a terrorist agenda. God says He will require an accounting for the lifeblood of every human. One day these terrorists will find out what a big deal really is.

God says children are a blessing but large portions of the world say these little ones are no big deal. This week, a new father is lauded as “heroic” for choosing to care for his newborn son, born with Down’s Syndrome. He certainly does seem heroic since the mother has chosen to walk away from the baby at the encouragement of her doctors. And how can we judge this mother since she’s swimming in a culture that says children are no big deal unless a mother wants them, unless they’re born perfect, unless they live up to the expectations of those expecting them?

God says the truth is a big deal. The world, like a sullen teen, rudely disagrees and responds that the truth, “ain’t no thang.” Brian Williams, an anchor on whom the public has bestowed deep trust, has confessed to “misremembering” the truth so that the story he’s been telling as an eyewitness is actually a lie. Obama and other politicians are working to spin the truth to serve their agenda, to control the stories, to manage our reactions, to control the day. We’ve begun to not even expect truth so we live in a constant state of hypervigilance, sorting through what we’re told like gleaners trying to find a few rare stalks of believable facts.

God is, in fact, the Supreme Arbiter of Big Deals. We don’t get to decide that it’s no big deal who we love or marry, that it’s no big deal how we worship, that it’s no big deal how we spend our time. And yet, like foolish children, we hear His commands and rudely respond, “Why are you making such a big deal of that, Lord? Chill.”

I rode to court this week with a young teen and his mother. He’d spent too many mornings pulling the covers over his head telling his mother school was “no big deal.” I watched a judge explain to him just what a big deal his truancy has become. I held my breath when he lied to the judge and cringed when he was caught in his lie. This young man will be facing a year’s worth of education in big deals in this judge’s presence.

I thought about everyone this teen has ignored along the way. How he’s even trying to reduce this judge to “no big deal.” Sadly, he’s a product of our culture. A culture that glorifies rudeness and suppresses the truth by declaring righteousness no big deal.

Writing this post has brought me to my knees, asking God to show me where I’ve been responding to Him the way family members have responded to me, the way this teen responded to the judge, “It’s not a big deal!” Where, I wonder, has God been nudging, prodding, convicting me but I’ve shrugged Him off, forgetting that He is the Supreme Arbiter of Big Deals. Who have I been ignoring along the way?

Want to be counter cultural? Resist rudeness. Know what’s important to God and proclaim it with your life. Refuse to reduce what’s important to God to no big deal. Ask Him what you’ve been waving off. Above all else, remember that love is the biggest deal of all.

And love isn’t rude, loved ones. Love isn’t rude.

I hope you’ve discovered my new book, Running from a Crazy Man (and other adventures traveling with Jesus), and that it’s an encouragement to you in the Lord. Amazon reviews help spread the word about the book and get it into the hands of others who need to renew their strength. Check out what others are saying and prayerfully consider adding your own review!