The Lie They Tell at Your Church

Lies are so prevalent in these times that sometimes we repeat them at church.

Repeated enough times, a lie starts to sound like the truth. There is a lie repeated regularly in churches across the land. I’m betting you’ve heard it in yours.

On its surface, it appears to be a benign deceit but I have come to believe it is, as are all untruths, insidious, dangerous, and paralyzing wherever it is believed.

The lie is this:

“Children are the future of the church.”

Often accompanied by a companion lie: “Without young families, the church will die.”

Now, this lie perpetuates because we have seen it happen. The young families stop coming to a church and the church withers on the vine.

Brace yourself. I’m going to lay some Latin on you. Post hoc ergo propter hoc meaning “after this, therefore because of this.” Church death does sometimes occur after the departure or loss of the young families but it’s not because of the loss of the families, it’s because the remaining members believed the lie.

Jesus loved children. Children belong in the church and we should do all we can to encourage them in their love of the Lord and their understanding of God’s word. Children come with families and they benefit when their families are also embraced by the church. Children, young parents, and Jesus – love, love, love. It’s never wrong to love and care for them. However, that’s not the issue.

Here’s my problem with the repeated lie:

1. Children are not the future of the church, they are the church NOW. We should encourage them to participate in the faith now and to view themselves as loved by God and vital to His current work.

1. Jesus is the future of the church, not children. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He doesn’t rely on a biological breeder system for the existence of His bride. Jesus can create followers from stardust; He doesn’t need us to give birth to them.

1. But the worst damage done by the church’s over emphasis on children and young families is that it leads to devaluing single people, couples without children, seniors, or middle-aged adults whose children have left the nest. And those believers then learn to undervalue themselves! Churchgoers falling into those categories are often viewed as the supporting cast for the “true stars of the show” – children and their young parents. Understandable confusion – but unbiblical and disastrous for kingdom building.

Paul warns us to keep our minds from being polluted by the world. Some of the worst pollution results from lies dressed up to sound like appetizing truths. Who’s going to argue that children aren’t important, special, and worthy of significant church ministry? It’s a natural byproduct to then outreach young parents. It not only sounds holy, it conforms well with the fleshly desires of the church to add to their numbers, to appeal to what the world values, too, and to cultivate congregants who will likely remain loyal for years to come.

Meanwhile, people who don’t fit into the desirable demographic languish beside the narrow road wondering if anyone cares if they take another step forward. And just as bad, they function at a diminished capacity of their gifting and calling potentials.

Are you single? Childless? Middle-aged? Older? Have you passively allowed this lie to marginalize you or push you to the sidelines? Stop waiting for others to recognize your value and your responsibility to be active in building the kingdom! Look around at your peers. Don’t they merit a ministry directed at them? Don’t they deserve to be told the truth about Jesus? Aren’t they edging closer and closer to an eternity without Christ?

Put down the polling data telling you most people make decisions for Christ in childhood or as college students. Polling data will also tell you that a field of dead bones isn’t likely to rise up into a living army but polling data often discounts the movement of our Lord in a situation. He can build a living and active church with middle-aged or elderly disciples. He can grow a fellowship through single or childless adults. Or have you forgotten that he started out with a handful of misfit disciples?

And what about you? You’re not the ugly, unwanted stepchild of Christ. You are a child of the king – gifted, equipped, called, and fully loaded with love. You’re an army, a force, a fellowship of kings who have been neutralized by the agent orange of a beautiful deception. Ingest the remedy and let the truth awaken your mind, restart your heart, and pump blood to your limbs so you can be about the work of the kingdom.

Go tell a single, middle-aged man Jesus died for Him, too. Go tell a childless couple that God has a vision for their life. Go tell a room full of older people they not only matter to God but God wants them to join Him in active ministry that will make an eternal difference. This is a harvest wilting in the field for lack of workers. Jesus blessed the children but He didn’t say the world revolves around them.

Seriously, loved ones, cast off the lie and go out and save some old people. Help some empty nesters see God’s vision for them extends beyond their wildest dreams. Look in the mirror and see a soul Jesus wants to mobilize onto active duty.

And as you go forward in faith, know that all those children and their parents will be watching and seeing the dusty bones of His church rise will minister to them, too.

Have you felt marginalized or devalued in the church? Have you believed you were less valuable than the young families worshiping around you? Do you need your heart and mind to be healed from this? Leave a comment on the post or contact me privately and let’s talk about it. Together, we can walk into the truth.

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