The Lie We Tell Ourselves that Stunts Our Growth

We tell ourselves we don’t like change, but that’s a lie.

We love change. We crave change. We seek it on every level.

We want to weigh less, make more, smell better, increase our stamina, drive newer cars, preach to bigger crowds, build bigger muscles, improve the economy, stop corruption and injustice, and escape 100% humidity.

We want our candidate to win office even if it means upheaval. We want our family to expand even knowing new spouses and babies will change our current dynamics. We want to find that one who will love us forever even knowing we’ll have to move or make adjustments in lifestyle. We want our wandering loved ones to return to Jesus and our neighbors to stop mowing their lawns on Saturday mornings before 7.

We want the change we want.

It’s other change we don’t like.

Unexpected change. Change that is forced upon us. Uncomfortable or disorienting change. Change that comes with age, illness, the other person’s candidate, or waiting rooms with plastic chairs. Change those other people create.

Most of us are very much like children when it comes to change. Not in that childlike trust that Jesus encourages but like those tantrum throwing toddlers who go viral on social media. I see it in myself all the time.

When I was young, I wanted my nose to change. It turned up on the end too much for me. Apparently I thought if I could make that little adjustment, my face would be just perfect (??). So, every night I prayed for a different-looking nose and fell asleep using my finger to repeatedly push down the tip of my nose.

Children want their straight hair to be curly and their curly hair to be straight. They want to be taller instead of shorter, the older brother instead of the baby, blond rather than brunette.

As we grow, we don’t get too much better at being content with ourselves but the changes we seek are often impossible and silly. When I began my speaking ministry to women years ago, I tried to change myself from being a sensible shoe girl to a high-heel comfortable woman.

When I was a teen, forming my fashion sense, I was keenly aware of a famine in Ethiopia and a devastating earthquake in Nicaruagua. Focusing on footwear seemed indulgent. I decided I only needed one pair of nice shoes for Sundays (brown flats) and a pair of sneakers for everyday.

Why I suddenly imagined that when God gave me a calling to speak His Word to women, it included new shoes, I’ll never fathom. I practiced in heels for weeks. I wasn’t trying to be impressive in them, but was rather hoping not to distract any listeners from the message with my footwear. 

Not long into this process, one-thousand pounds of sheetrock tipped over in our hallway and crushed my left foot. It healed but it’s sensible shoes for me for life.

When it happened, I felt God speaking to me about how I decide what needs to change about me. He made me aware through His Word and prayer that there were, in fact, things within me that needed to change as I began this ministry but it had nothing to do with high heels.

Isn’t that the way of change? When we are immature, we imagine there is power in changing the things WE don’t like about ourselves but when God or others confront us on things that bother THEM about us, we resist.

The problem with that is that God knows exactly how we should change in order to better resemble the idea He had when He created us. You see, God had an idea and it was you (and another idea was me). He loved that idea so much, He gave us life and chose a time and place for us to enter this world.

Now, immediately the world began messing with the idea of who we are meant to be. Our sin, the sins of others, and living in a sinful world dumped a bunch of other goop on top of this wonderful idea. When we come to Christ, He does the work of scraping all that off and unearthing the original plan for us. We need to be careful to let Him guide this work because only He knows what needs to stay and which needs to go. Turns out, my passion for Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, and other speculative entertainments isn’t as much a problem for Jesus as my selfishness, envy, and greed.

When I studied karate in my forties, initially I thought I would never achieve black belt status because I’m overweight and uncoordinated. I have tried to change those things about me without lasting success. Not long into the process, I understood from my instructor that those problems might bother me but they weren’t what stood in the way of my progress.

What I actually needed to change was my distaste for hard work, my reluctance to practice, my willingness to look foolish and even fail at times in order to learn, and my devotion to my own pride. Those weren’t changes I was seeking but when I embraced them, this overweight, uncoordinated karate student succeeded in earning her black belt.

The enemy of our souls is always holding up funhouse mirrors inviting us to devote the lion’s share of our time, attention, and resources to changing ourselves in ways that won’t matter at the end of the day. He knows if we’re busy making those changes, we’ll never look deeply enough into the mirror of God’s Word to make ourselves available for the changes God wants us to make because they lead to growth and have benefits into eternity.

God built change into the design. We see it in His creation on every level. He is the unchanging One. All else is engineered with an element of change. The key is seeking HIS counsel on what changes to make.

Save yourself the hundreds of dollars you’re tempted to spend on products to make changes the world says will improve your appearance, social acceptance, and well-being.

Get to Jesus and seek the change that will bring out the YOU He imagined before the dawn of time. Resist any change based on lies and insist on only changing to align with your Creator’s loving, eternal, beautiful truth.

Thoughts? I love to read your comments! Talk back! I respond to every comment and reply to every email. Reach out!

Does change scare you? That's not true. We all LOVE change. That's the problem! https://t.co/J53NqpINZY #timeforchange #Jesus

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) July 11, 2024