Who Do You Love – and How?

heart-700141_640Freedom is a funny thing.

Who could ever be against freedom for another human being, right? Of course, we should all be free to love whoever it is we wish to love.

In Galatians, Paul even tells us that there is no law against love. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

A common outcry from the homosexual community is that Christians are trying to limit their freedom to love.

I would propose that we are all free to love but, according to the Bible, there are laws for EVERY human placing restrictions and parameters on the expression of that love.

Heterosexuals are as guilty of messing with these laws as homosexuals. We all wrestle with sexual attraction and the proper expression of it. We want to call it all love – the expression of our love – but God is love and that makes Him the authority on what love actually looks like in practice. Love isn’t what you find on sites such as sexfreehd.xxx and others, many know that already, but most still abide by that misconception.

Have you ever learned something new – an instrument, an art, a sport – and chafed against the restrictions a tutor or coach placed on your practice?

You want to play Mozart or Green Day. Your instructor wants you to practice scales.

You want to recreate the Sistine Chapel. Your tutor wants you draw your left hand from thirty different angles.

You’re ready to start in the big game so that scouts get a good look at the new talent. Your coach won’t even let you touch the ball until you can run four miles.

You aspire to greatness but all you get are restrictions. These people have no vision. They can’t see the big picture. They’re so narrow-minded!

What the wise coach or tutor knows is that learning the discipline of an art or sport is the way to freedom in the expression of your talent. Throwing away the restrictions of rules, practice, lessons, and discipline doesn’t result in freedom.

Many a talented pupil stunts his or her own growth by refusing to submit to the discipline required for true freedom.
I believe this is true when we chafe against the laws laid out in the Bible. I’m talking about the rules around sexual expression.

God has a lot to say about who can sleep with whom.

We’ve been discussing homosexuality but there are numerous Biblical laws and teachings that govern sexual expression of all kinds. Those who struggle with same-sex attraction are not the ONLY men and women who are restricted sexually.

None of us is totally free to sleep with whomever attracts us whenever and however we feel like it.

What is often said regarding this topic is that no one should put limits on who a person loves. No one should stand in the way of love or of loving relationships. Certainly, God is all about love, isn’t He?

Absolutely. There is no law against love.

We are called, by God, in Scripture, to love everyone from God to our neighbor to our enemy. There is no law against love.

But there are laws that govern the ways we express that love.

Sexual acts are only ONE avenue for expressing love. Our current culture acts as though intercourse is the pinnacle of all loving expression. Not that sex isn’t great stuff, but c’mon, as humans we can certainly reach higher in our understanding of the full expression of love!

Love can be expressed in a myriad of ways – ways that are deeply satisfying, life giving, and mutually edifying without the exchange of a single body fluid. Just ask any loving couple whose marriages have been affected when one partner becomes debilitated in a way that doesn’t allow for a sexual expression of their love. They continue to live, to love, to thrive, even and find there is life and romance beyond the bedroom.

There are countless ways to love one another on this earth – from fighting beside one another in foxholes, to bringing food to one another in famine, to laying down one’s life to save another.

We don’t always understand the restrictions God places on our relationships but could it be, that rather than trying to narrow and confine us, He’s trying to free us to a greater expression of the art of living and loving on earth?

Aren’t WE the ones being narrow-minded when we insist that we are only truly free to be ourselves if we can express our love to one another through some form of sexual intercourse? I’m speaking here to both gay and straight readers because we’re equally guilty of the same crime on this point.

We act as though any restrictions placed on the expression of our feelings through sexuality is somehow damaging to the very deepest part of our beings. And, while sexual identity is close to the core of who we are, there is much more to being a man or a woman than our sex organs and the exercise thereof.

I think that God is not calling us to be less – He’s inviting us to be more – more than we can even imagine until we let go of trying to control the process and willingly follow Him as the Master Instructor in the Art of Life and Love.

Yielding to His instructions on love, and yes, submitting to His rules regarding sexual expression of that love, is to learn composition from Mozart, painting from Michelangelo and football from Bill Belichik.

God isn’t calling us to be less – He’s inviting us to be more.

What say you?

You can read the comments attached to the first posting of this article originally titled “There is no law against love – but that’s not really the issue, is it?) at https://loriroeleveld.com/is-homosexuality-a-sin/there-is-no-law-against-love-but-thats-not-really-the-issue-is-it/


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1 Comment

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  1. You write so beautifully of love and I completely agree with love being so much more than a physical act, we cannot even comprehend for the most part what love is and I believe that is our journey in life- to love and be loved to our fullest extent. Unfortunately I feel a growing sense that love in the 21st century is governed by ideas, and often sadly, love is governed by an ability to hate and fear rather than accept and love. When talking about homosexuality, this is the ‘law’…peoples ideas and how they cause people to act. True Love, REAL love knows no limit and it certainly has no agenda with your sexual orientation. The freedom to express love comes with this. There is a big difference between limiting the expressions of love and limiting a human being because of who they love.