Twin Giants (Interview with a Giant-Slayer #4)

Jesus-and-Beanstalk-Meme-4Sometimes giants come in pairs. In order to face and forgive the giant who abused her, Pam had to face down the inner giant of fear. God didn’t leave her alone with either one. I’m grateful to Pam Halter for her willingness to be transparent and brave in sharing the story of the day she faced down twin giants – one external and one internal.

Describe the giant in your life and how you overcame:

Twenty years ago, I was a fairly new Christian. I had grown up in church, but until then, hadn’t understood about the relationship a believer needs to have with the Lord. That year, I learned the photographer for my daughter, Anna’s, special needs preschool was the ex-husband who had abused me physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually. I still lived in fear of him.

I was going to keep Anna home that day, but felt God tell me I needed to go there and face him to tell him I forgave him. I tried to talk God out of it, (heh) but it was so heavy on me, so I sent Anna to school and I asked my dad come and sit with my youngest daughter while I went to the school building to do what God asked me to do. I read Psalm 28 over and over. I took my Bible with me so I could read it again aloud before I went into the school building. Even so, my entire body trembled, I felt light-headed with fear, and I could hardly breathe. Not only did I have to face my former abuser, I had to again hear his voice and see the hands that hurt me. Even writing this, I feel the anxiety again.

When I walked in, there was a woman in the room used for the picture taking. I asked for him and she said he was on another job so she was takingwoman-1006100_640 the pictures at this location. I thanked her and practically flew into the nurse’s office and collapsed! Then I took a piece of paper, wrote a note to him, and sealed it in an envelope. I left it with his assistant.

I got in the van and wept in relief. Then I laughed and laughed. I felt like what Jehoshaphat must have felt when he arrived to battle the enemy, only to find dead bodies. And I thanked the Lord repeatedly for sparing me the emotional trauma.

Describe how any of these traits mentioned in 2 Peter 1:1-10 played a role in slaying your giant – faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, love: 

I think this experience strengthened my faith. I learned that sometimes God asks His children to do some really hard things, but He doesn’t leave us alone to do them. My giant in that situation was FEAR. While I didn’t have to go through with it, face-to-face, just going to the school that day showed me I can do anything God asks me to do. That is the stuff that builds faith, which I now know I needed to be able to face what I’m going through today. He is so good!

Was there a particular Bible verse or passage that was valuable to you in slaying this giant?

Psalm 28

sunset-50494_640How did other Christians play a role in your giant slaying?

My husband supported me in prayer, and while he wasn’t happy about me facing my ex on my own, he also felt it was God’s calling for me. He was as relieved as I when I told him what happened. He knew what I had been through, so he understood how painful it would have been, but we both knew it was the right thing. Whew! I’m still relieved – and thankful – to this very day.

Have you ever had to face down twin giants? One external and one internal? Corrie ten Boom had to face and forgive a guard from the concentration camp where her sister died. You can read the story here.  If you’d like to get to know Pam Halter better, this is her website.

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2 Comments

    The Conversation

  1. thank you for sharing your story. I praise God that He gave you the courage. I felt your angst as I read through your ordeal. I love when our great God shows us the power we have in HIm. God bless you.

  2. Pam Halter says:

    Yes, indeed! He’s so good to us! Thanks for stopping by.