Abusive Christian Leaders and Our Role in The Cover-Up

Let’s be crystal clear:

It isn’t the revelation of abusive leadership that is the problem, it’s the fact of the abuse.

The headlines aren’t the problem for the church—the abuse and the cover up are the problems.

This time, it’s a report that the Southern Baptist Convention failed to address myriad sexual abuse allegations against pastors and church staff, despite having a secret list of those who had been accused.

It’s incomprehensible that those charged with representing Christ in a leadership role, especially in a denomination that preaches headship with such fervor, should so recklessly disregard the victims of those entrusted with their care.

In one documented case, a girl of 14 was repeatedly sexually abused by her pastor. When it finally resulted in a pregnancy, she was forced to apologize to the congregation ALONE with no mention of the father.

This is injustice. This is abominable behavior. It doesn’t serve God or the church to pretend it doesn’t happen or to deal with it under cover of darkness. It must be confronted in the light.

Here are my warnings to you, my friends, about areas in which we must wake up as a church to do better at eliminating this kind of abuse and cover up:

• GOD DOESN’T NEED OUR PROTECTION, and neither should our leaders. Anyone telling victims they are responsible to be quiet to protect the ministry or the work of the leader or the outreach of the church should reject that as a lie. When we engage in cover-up in the church, we’re employing self-protection. Don’t even pretend we’re not. In Isaiah 46, God warns Israel that idols need to be carried. Idols cannot save themselves and need protection. Idols are a burden to the people. God, on the other hand, carries US! ““Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.” Isaiah 46:3-4 ESV We must not make idols of our leaders. They are accountable to God like everyone else. The sheep don’t protect the shepherd! When that’s happening, it’s a giant red flag that something is wrong. If there is sin in the church, the sin is the problem, not bringing it to light. Full stop.
• We MUST GROW UP about having hard conversations. It’s incredibly uncomfortable to confront a false teacher. Especially when we love, admire, and rely on them. Especially when they’ve done a skillful job of only abusing one or two in our midst. It’s unbearable to listen to details of abuse. It’s exhausting and gross to have to confront an unrepentant deceiving leader repeatedly until the truth emerges but guess what? It must be done. So, let’s grow up, grab the tools God has provided for this and do the work. Not in fear of public shaming but out of LOVE for innocent victims whose souls are being battered and trampled by someone representing Jesus Christ. Yes, there are false accusations sometimes made against godly men and women. I know the pain of this from experience. But this is why we must become comfortable with and experienced at doing what is uncomfortable and working through these conversations with humility, gentleness, and love but also tenacity and commitment to revealing truth. 

When we talk about this in the weeks ahead, we should do so without defensiveness, with humility, and with lament for those who have suffered. Sin is sin and when it comes to light, God is at work. Yes, there are abusive leaders in the church and covering up their abuse is a crime against humanity.

Every individual involved—the victims, their families, the congregations, the abusers, and those involved in the cover-up, are people made in the image of God for whom Jesus died. Victims can find healing in Christ. Families and congregations can find wisdom in Christ. Abusers who sincerely repent and demonstrate the fruit of repentance in their lives over time will know forgiveness in Christ.

But, those who play at repentance, who feign sorrow and reach for rapid restoration, those who wrap false repentance around themselves like a fireproof cloak and demand others buy the cheap grace their selling so they can get on with their public ministries and their private violations, they will reap from God what they sow. And the church must heed the warnings in God’s Word that these wolves in sheep’s clothing exist among us and be wise.

Our prayers for the victims should be full of lament, requests for God to search our hearts, and intercession for healing, justice, and restoration. Our prayers for those around them—their families, their congregations, and all who have become secondary victims—should be the same.

We should also pray for those who abused and for those who covered up abuse that they would come under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and repent (with the fruit of repentance evident over time). We should also pray that those refusing to repent or feigning repentance be brought to light as the false teachers or hypocrites or agents of evil or wolves that they are and that those dealing with them would have the Christ-centered courage required to protect the sheep from them, even at great cost.

The message of the gospel is love. The truth of Christ is that He died for us sinners, He paid the price for our sin, and through the cross, we can receive forgiveness and grace. Christ also taught that we would be spreading this truth in a fallen, broken world where spiritual enemies sow weeds among the good seeds and send wolves in among the sheep.

Loving Christ means we live in the full truth of what He taught, and we grow up in Him enough to hold our leaders accountable, exercising discernment to eject those who prey on the sheep they’ve been called to protect.

Pray for your pastor and pastoral staff today. If they are godly people, let them know how dearly you appreciate them and support them with words and actions. There are wonderful men and women of God shepherding God’s people with Christ-like character and integrity. Thank God for them today and pray for their hearts, minds, souls, and strength to be always fully yielding to Christ alone.

**If your church or your leadership need help using the tools God has provided to have hard conversations, please reach out to me. I’m available for coaching, for support, and for training. My book, The Art of Hard Conversations: Biblical Tools for the Tough Talks that Matter, is also available. If you can’t afford a copy, reach out to me at lorisroel@gmail.com.

The report of sexual abuse in the church isn’t the problem-the fact of its existence is the problem. How will we respond? https://t.co/1WyAQlbf3F #SBCReportChat #SBC

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) May 24, 2022